When another man does it, or when it’s an accident that occurred doing “manly” things, THEY LOVE IT. Yes, you heard me — MEN love it. Why else would people advertise all those DVDs of 90 solid minutes of football players getting hit in the nuts while the male audience guffaws?

STFU. Men love that crap — when it’s another man doing the kicking. When it’s a woman, it’s moider-dah-bitch time. Mostly because she might have had damned good reason for it.

Is it safe to assume Javelineer never played in sports? You’re a man. Men don’t pal around with men’s movement sissies complaining about how unfair it is that men aren’t treated like delicate flowers. Have you no pride? Dignity? Testosterone?

It’s not a big deal for you to get slapped by a woman because A) You’re a man, even a hard slap from a woman is like being clawed by a kitten and B) unless you’re dating some psycho you’ve probably earned slap by doing something outrageous. Like reading Iron John.

Look, if your woman slaps you and you don’t like it dump her on the spot and hook up with her hotter friend for good measure. This has been the time honored response to female “abuse” of men since ancient times, passed to us by Greek and Roman philosophers like Celsus who wrote that little known treatise on dating called Stop Acting Like a Little Girl.

By the gods do you two listen to yourselves? You’re (theoretically) Men now start acting like it. What’s next we’ll have to hear Javelineer complain that puppies play to rough with him (under his new handle ThrobingBeef69) which is unfair because he’s not allowed to beat them up? Then will Eclectic Radical vomit out some JR college post-post-modernist deconstruction of the power dynamic of we Peopleists who are oppressing dogs?

You’re men. MEN! What would John Wayne say to you two? Would Baudelaire put up with this sort of mincing effeminacy? La Rouchfoucald? He would have laughed at you while applying his rouge.

Take off those skinny jeans, throw away your ironic glasses and start acting like men. If you guys did, maybe you could actually have women who cared enough about where your penises have been to throw the occasional rolling pin at you.

Indeed, the reason there is no uproar against the humorous depiction of female violence against men is because men make most of the decisions at most levels of society and can afford to laugh at the frying pan gag without fearing it. Indeed, the fundamental humor in female violence against men is based in the prevailing gender politics: because men have all the power and women usually have to take what they get, it is ‘funny’ for this to be exploded by the frying pan gag.

So the double standard of which you are complaining in attacking Jenn’s article could not exist /without/ a prevailing male dominance of society. It wouldn’t be ‘funny’ otherwise.

No wonder your relationships all failed. Have fun dying alone.

Maybe your daddy didn’t love you and your mommy had a habit of using her foot to shove your testicles up into your abdominal cavity, maybe your problems stem from something else. But whatever your damage is, it has nothing to do with what’s written here. This post addresses a specific article I took issue with. I never said domestic violence aimed at men is funny and nothing in my piece indicates a double standard when it comes to men. You also make no case for the notion that my indignation is misplaced.

Come back when you can make a relevant argument backed by sound reasoning and free of logical fallacies.

The only way to take this post seriously is to ignore the most obvious legal and social double standards against men. By and large, women can assault men with impunity. It’s a fundamental comic routine – the woman kicking the man in the balls. It’s in almost every movie and television show.

If you really are so blind that this has escaped you, watch this:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LlFAd4YdQks

In summary, give me a freakin’ break. Your indignation is misplaced in the most sorry way.