Marrena Lindberg: Portrait of a Liberal

Perched on a stool in a television studio, Marrena Lindberg pulls out her prized possession: a photo of Stephen Colbert. She squints her eyes slightly, scrunches up her face, and emits a slightly tortured mewl that falls somewhere between whine and sigh. That, she explains somewhat clinically to the naked adult film star on her right, was just one of the 40 to 50 Colbert-induced orgasms she experiences every day.

My better half and I watch in horrified fascination as the heavyset Ms. Lindberg plugs The Orgasmic Diet, a nutritional regimen we imagine does little for one’s figure or sex life. As our tear-inducing laughter subsides, she demonstrates one more hands-off, six second Colbert-gasm.

And thus, our first night of upgraded cable service came to an end. (Best recession ever, by the way.) We’ll be a little more careful about surfing past the HBO range of channels from now on.

As distasteful as it was to watch this woman humiliate herself by faking orgasms on television, I couldn’t help but wonder what kind of person does such a thing. I completely understand why she appeared on the Katie Morgan show – she’s got books to sell – but who the hell gets on TV and drools over a picture of Stephen Colbert while pretending to Kegel her way to climax in less than 10 seconds?

Enter Google.

42-year-old Marrena Lindberg is an overweight Wiccan divorcée who indulges her stalker-like obsession with Stephen Colbert by posting prolifically on the ColbertNation forums using the handles Eris and zaneblue. She likes to write about the unseemly details of her sex life, but her political nonsense almost eclipses her sexual nonsense.

Ms. Lindberg has more than a touch of Palin Derangement Syndrome, reads DailyKos, comments regularly on HuffPo, and thinks George Bush stole the elections in 2000 and 2004. Oh, and predictably enough, she hates corporations and neocons. Of course, all that typical liberal ire is to be expected, considering the Rethuglicans are preventing her from getting the government to foot the bill for her research into female orgasms. As she wrote several weeks ago in a verbose letter she bribed Dan Savage to publish:

I can’t get funding because of the Republicans in power, there’s no funding for any non-pharmaceutical research, much less for a study on God forbid female sexuality.

Someone might want to let Marrena Lindberg know that the Democrats won control of Congress in 2006. If only she knew before donating all her “spare money to Obama.” She could have saved her cash to load up on Colbert centric spank material.

Comments

32 Responses to “Marrena Lindberg: Portrait of a Liberal”

  1. Marrena Lindberg on January 3rd, 2009 2:14 pm

    I wasn’t faking.

  2. Mary Fahey on January 3rd, 2009 4:05 pm

    You know what’s really pathetic, by your standards? You and your idiot husband watching it.

    Best recession ever? Well, you two would know, wouldn’t you?

  3. gilligan's pineapple on January 3rd, 2009 4:07 pm

    Thank you for the article. She seems like an absolutely beautiful person.

  4. oooohhhhhhh on January 3rd, 2009 4:13 pm

    What do you care what she does with her time?

    Why don’t you fuck off.

  5. Fatties Suck on January 3rd, 2009 4:29 pm

    Only fat, attention starved (lol starved) retards do stuff like this. Oh hey guys let me have fake orgasms on TV because thats the only way I can bring attention (and its only “attention” because its horrendous and like watching a train wreck, a train full of Twinkies and you know how Americans love to watch the less fortunate) to myself in real life or on the internet.

    I’m sure Stephen Colbert is extremely blessed to have 4 ton uglies doing this type of blatent attention whoring in his name. Fuck.

  6. Pacific NW Mark on January 3rd, 2009 4:57 pm

    Jenn Q your repression/projection couldn’t be much more obvious.

    Hands-free orgasms? Ms Lindberg is flat-out hot.

  7. CumQuat on January 3rd, 2009 5:15 pm

    Everyone ought to bear patiently the results of his own conduct.

  8. gilligan's pineapple on January 3rd, 2009 5:25 pm

    F.S. You are an obvious closet chubby chaser.

  9. Fatties Suck on January 3rd, 2009 5:39 pm

    Chasing Jabba the Hutt is a serious task put forth upon the most noble of men.

  10. gilligan's pineapple on January 3rd, 2009 6:07 pm

    F.S. In other words, your excessiveness indicates you have an obsession that you fail to identify.

  11. gilligan's pineapple on January 3rd, 2009 6:08 pm

    (psssst…sexual….)

  12. Rob Taylor on January 3rd, 2009 6:59 pm

    Why am I an idiot Mary? I’m not some mark (that is a person like you who buys into Lindberg’s con game) who gets suckered into defending a semi-sane grifter who dragged DailyKos into her psycho-drama about how important she is.

    Oh the pathos! Should she leave DKos to save its reputation? You know, the reputation it has for racism, anti-Semitism and the more than occasional posting linking to Stormfront.You and your fellow Kossacks are the idiots acting as attack dogs at the behest of some woman that you and I both know is not only a charlatan but bat-shit crazy.

    “Best recession ever? Well, you two would know, wouldn’t you?” Er, yeah we would. I’m not sure what your insult is supposed to mean. Is this criticism of us for our ability to know this is the best recession ever? Or are you implying we have more experience with recessions?

  13. Fatties Suck on January 3rd, 2009 7:11 pm

    Ironic that a 500lb woman is photographed in front a feast of healthy food.

  14. Rob Taylor on January 3rd, 2009 7:31 pm

    Ironic that a person who came from DKos is attacking a fellow douche.

  15. Fatties Suck on January 3rd, 2009 8:12 pm

    Dkos? What the fuck is Dkos?

    This was sent to me through Myspace from my girlfriend who visits the site. It scared her that a woman on that very site is actually running for some kinda position making her feel even closer to Stephen. So I came to check it out.

    I agree with you and your wife. The lady is 100% bat shit crazy. Did you read the part where she wants to fuck Stephen in the ass dressed as woman? That lady is fucked in the head.

  16. Rob Taylor on January 3rd, 2009 8:19 pm

    Uh, no. I don’t read her scribblings. Anally raping Colbert? That is crazy.

  17. Fatties Suck on January 3rd, 2009 8:24 pm

    This is off of your wife’s sexual nonsense link in red above. She posts:

    “My sensation, that you seem to be curious about, was an earnest desire to spend a hedonistic hour fucking a crossdressed Stephen up the ass with a strap-on and bring him the delirious transcendent sexual pleasure that I experience every day, to bring him into my womanly sensual world by playing the man for him.”

    I am keeping my girlfriend away from that new site because of freaky women like this. This is the type that hide outside of studios and shoot them and I don’t want my girlfriend hanging out with this type of trash.

    I can’t believe they would continue to let her post this shit about Colbert. She is very ill.

  18. Marrena Lindberg on January 3rd, 2009 9:31 pm

    You’re “keeping your girlfriend away from the new site”. How nice that you censor where your girlfriend goes online. Frankly that sort of behavior is a stronger prediction of shooting someone than having sex fantasies about a celebrity.

  19. chinger on January 3rd, 2009 9:34 pm

    It never ceases to amaze me what people with too much time on their hands do to amuse themselves.

    But literally chasing someone down for being Liberal? If it were 1939 in Germany you’d be hunting down the Juden!

    Rob, I think what was meant is if you voted for George Bush then you can take credit for the present economic mess we are in now.

  20. blackman on January 3rd, 2009 9:53 pm

    Poorly written, hate filled article. Appears to reveal more about the author than the interesting lady we’ve been introduced to.

  21. Rob Taylor on January 3rd, 2009 10:03 pm

    Chinger what are you talking about? Who was “chased down” for being a Liberal? No one’s made contact with anyone or pursued them. Jenn merely pointed out that people like you (we call them suckers, you call them Liberals) buy into nonsense like this. That’s not “chasing someone down” and since this post is a few weeks old, and neither of us have thought about Lindberg until she started sending traffic here, it’d be more accurate to say she was “chasing” Jenn.

    But since we’re talking about blog posts and comments on the Internet there is no “chasing” at all.You see that right?

    It’s funny you made the Hitler reference when your precious Daily Kos just had a diary on it a couple of days ago that linked to Stormfront. Pacific mark, this is what projection looks like.

    Right Bush is to blame for the credit crisis. Because he created a market for sub prime mortgages in the 70s then deregulated the industry in the late 90s and blocked Congress and the Senate from reigning in Fannie Mae/Freddie Mac. Oops. That was all Democrats. Sorry kids but the recession is driven by 30+ years of an entire country deciding to live on credit, the great de-leveraging had to come sometime. Those of us smart enough to see it coming prepared for it.

    But what’s that got to do with you people implying you actually believe that if you read her (snort) nutrition book you’ll be able to orgasm by looking at a picture of a metrosexual?

  22. Rob Taylor on January 3rd, 2009 10:05 pm

    I have $20 bucks that says “blackman” is a 45-year-old White guy.

    And by the gods does anyone know what hateful means?

  23. Whale Rider on January 3rd, 2009 10:47 pm

    Her 15 minutes are up.

  24. androyd on April 23rd, 2009 12:04 pm

    nasty piece of work

  25. Kathryn on July 9th, 2011 5:37 pm

    Maybe, just maybe, you should stop judging and possibly read and follow her book. I have, and it works fucking (literally) wonders. Stop hating, all of you are absolutely hideous human-beings. You should be ashamed of yourselves.

    Now excuse me, I need to go have 20 effortless, intense orgasms that you’ll never been open-minded enough to experience.

    Oh, and p.s. – she may be plump, but all that fish oil makes her FAR healthier than the shit you probably eat, but hey, not my fault you didn’t read her book to see for yourself.

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