The Green-Eyed Monster Rears Her Dowdy Head

Shakespeare, you magnificent bastard, you’ve gone and done it again. With near prescience, you penned just the turn of phrase I need to describe Maureen Dowd’s acerbic mockery of Sarah Palin as a wife, a mother, and a politician:

It is the green-eyed monster which doth mock / The meat it feeds on

Granted that line was delivered by a despicable villain, Iago, but since Dowd can conveniently overlook Sarah Palin’s depth of character, I figure I can ignore the source of the quote. Here’s a taste of Dowd’s piece in which she likens Palin’s life to a “hokey chick flick”:

This chick flick, naturally, features a wild stroke of fate, when the two-year governor of an oversized igloo becomes commander in chief after the president-elect chokes on a pretzel on day one.

The movie ends with the former beauty queen shaking out her pinned-up hair, taking off her glasses, slipping on ruby red peep-toe platform heels that reveal a pink French-style pedicure, and facing down Vladimir Putin in an island in the Bering Strait. Putting away her breast pump, she points her rifle and informs him frostily that she has some expertise in Russia because it’s close to Alaska. “Back off, Commie dude,” she says. “I’m a much better shot than Cheney.”

Then she takes off in her seaplane and lands on the White House lawn, near the new ice fishing hole and hockey rink. The “First Dude,” as she calls the hunky Eskimo in the East Wing, waits on his snowmobile with the kids — Track (named after high school track meets), Bristol (after Bristol Bay where they did commercial fishing), Willow (after a community in Alaska), Piper (just a cool name) and Trig (Norse for “strength.”)

The jealousy apparent in Dowd’s screed is palpable. She clearly wishes she could Freaky Friday her way into Palin’s body to experience the world of a powerful woman with a rich life, important career, and loving family, even if just for a little while. She should be so lucky.


2 Responses to “The Green-Eyed Monster Rears Her Dowdy Head”

  1. Chessley Grogan on March 31st, 2010 9:43 pm

    Sarah Palin. Sarah Pill of shit you mean. Hell, she is a douchebag compared to Maureen Dowd. Besides being a dyed in the wool dumbass Palin is an ordinary brown haired girl. Her time had come and gone and I doubt she could even get into the backseat of a car any longer, without breaking in on an unsuspecting teenager.

    Maureen Dowd is a genuine red haired green eyed fox.


  2. Jenn Q. Public on March 31st, 2010 9:54 pm

    Er, sure, if you’ve got a thing for Tootsie.

    Dowd must be thrilled to have stalkers, I mean fans as smart and classy as you. You do realize you posted your vitriol to a post from September 2008, right?

Leave a Reply